Meghan’s Journal

For anyone that is familiar with our story, they know that both Conner and his brother were adopted through the Department of Children and Families. With their adoptions they both qualify for Florida Medicaid until their 18th birthday. I am eternally grateful for this coverage because when Conner went into the hospital I didn’t have to worry about what life saving measures would or would not be covered by his insurance. Although most of his medical needs were covered, we still did incur costs for his medical care. I would pay it all over again to sit by his side and hold his little hand even for just one more moment. 

As a bereaved parent there are things that I have had to do that I have never in my life anticipated. One of the recurring issue that I have is a conversation with Florida Medicaid. This conversation involves me calling them to alert them that the child they are sending the “well child check” appointment reminders for is deceased. The child that they are sending new insurance and dental cards for is deceased. The child that they are sending “important tax documents” for is deceased. The conversation also includes when I call to change something on Kaleb’s insurance, the follow up question is “are the changes for just for one child?”. If they had documented our conversation the previous 10+ times maybe I wouldn’t have to answer THIS question. How many times do I need to tell them this information? Shouldn’t once be enough? Why am I still having this conversation 1 year and 9 months after his tragic death?

The loss of your child is an unimaginable pain that I would not wish on anybody. You do things that you never imagined you could, because you have no other choice. But every time I open an envelope reminding me of Conner’s next “____ year well check” with the reminders of how to keep him healthy its like a dagger in my heart. Every new insurance card he receives, it’s just a reminder of the doctors we will never see. It is just an annual reminder that I was unable to keep him safe.